


The Haunting

by darkandstormyslash



Category: Yonderland (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 19:49:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4718372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkandstormyslash/pseuds/darkandstormyslash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anous has come back to haunt Negatus, but Negatus is the only one who can see him. Tumblr prompt by bosworth1485</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Haunting

The first time it happens, Negatus is more than willing to put it down to the returning nightmares. It must be a dream, of course it is, that a spectral floating Admiral Anous descends down through his ceiling. The ghostly Anous wriggling his fingers and going "OoooOOoooo!" is almost certainly a nightmare. The part where Negatus screams like a little girl and flings the duvet over his head going "You're dead, you're _dead_ , go away!" - definitely a nightmare.

The second time it's harder to pass off as a dream because he's wide awake and sitting on the toilet. The ghost of Anous floats in through the side of the wall, a ghostly axe still embedded in his body. His fingers rise again and his eyes widen as he wriggles them at Negatus with another "OooooOOOooooo!"

On reflection, Negatus thinks it's probably a good thing he was sitting on the toilet. Certainly saved him a rather embarrassing visit to the Evil Laundrette of Doom (rebranded from Bloggs Laundry Co. in order to try and cash in on the adventuring market). He still screams, but as there's no duvet to fling he covers his face with his hands instead, "Ahhhh! Begone, foul demon! Go away!"

Anous waves ghostly fingers at him again. "OooooOO oooOOOOoooo!" and tries to bat Negatus around the head with them but as he's a ghost he just makes Negatus's hands slightly cold and damp. With a ghoulish roll of the eyes he slides back out through the door, leaving Negatus to slowly lower his hands, peeking suspiciously through his fingers to check the figure has really gone.

The third time is in the throne room, and this time Negatus feels he should have a bit more support as he flings a finger dramatically at the rising spectre of Anous and screams, "He has come for me!"

Three demons turn their heads, and after a momentary stare at his finger, turn them slightly further. Eventually Neil asks, "Who has, oh blackest of shades?"

"Him! Look! The ghost!"

They look at Negatus, then look back to where he's pointing. Rita and Neil look at each other for a moment quietly trying to assess through glances whether their boss as gone mad while Geoff spins around in a panic. "There, um, there's nothing there my lord." Rita manages eventually.

"Yes there is! Look, _listen_ , he's doing the ooooo thing again."

"The wall is a ghost!" Geoffry yelps, running straight at it and colliding head on. The two remaining demons, Negatus, and the ghost of Anous watch as he collapses to the floor gasping out, "They're fighting back, save yourselves."

"Right. Alright. I take it you can't actually see it." Negatus snaps, annoyed that his moment of terror isn't gaining any appreciation and cowering back in the throne as Anous waves his fingers at him again, "Why can I see it?"

"Maybe because you killed him my lord?" Rita offers, still glancing uncertainly around the room.

"I didn't! Neil hit him in the face with a shovel, haunt him, haunt _him_." Negatus waves a hand desperately at Neil as Anous glides closer. The three demons stare at him as he starts batting at the air and he eventually stops, resigning himself to having a cold wet face as Anous tries to slap him and snapping at them, "Well don't just stare at me, get it sorted!"

"Get what sorted, my lord?"

"The ghost! I want it gone. Find out how to get rid of ghosts, I don't care what you have to pay, or who you have to get to do it."

"But my lord, this isn't a demon, or a wizard, this is a ghost! Who are we going to call?"

"Anyone, everyone, I don't care!"

* * *

By the second day, with the demons out scouring the land for exorcists, and the place relatively empty, Negatus is almost getting used to his new visitor. Anous dead is slightly less annoying than Anous alive, given he has no power to get Negatus sacked and his vocabulary is limited exclusively to one vowel.

He also makes a useful drinks cooler.

"OooooOOOOooooOO!"

"Oh shut up. Are you going to be around long?"

"OoooOoooOO ooOOOoo."

"Nooope, no idea what that was. Is there no other way you can comunicate? Could you move a glass?"

Anous indicates through a series of hand gestures exactly where, if a glass was provided, he would attempt to move it.

"Fair enough, fair enough. Just a thought. Could you bang the cupboard doors in morse code?"

Anous puts his hand through the cupboard with a pointed expression on his face.

"Ah yes, of course. The old ... incorporeal thing. Could we - wait a minute! We can do it by charades!"

Anous's expression flickers. It's really amazing how much a ghostly face that looked pretty cadaver-like even when alive is able to convey.

"Alright then. Why are you here, let's start with that." Negatus grabs a bottle, passes it through Anous's body, then flips off the cap with a satisfied sigh. "Perfect. Now ... how many words?"

Two ghostly fingers are held up.

"Alright, first word, how many syllables?"

Three fingers, accompanied by a look of distaste. Clearly the deceased Anous hadn't been expecting to be drawn into ghostly party games.

"Three syllables, hmm. First syllable?"

Anous bangs a ghostly head against the table, not at all mollified when it goes straight through.

* * *

"Um - fin - shhh." Negatus's face screws up as he regards Anous's latest pantomime - an unexpected mime he hadn't expected from the dour and serious auditor. "Waste? Leavings? Business - business! Um-fin-shh business ... unfinished business! Well why didn't you _say_?"

Anous gives a ghostly groan. It's been a long day.

The door behind them crashes open and Negatus stands quickly, relaxing as he sees it's just the demons, scurrying over and attempting to all speak at once.

"My lord, we've found a young priest and an old priest..."

"We had to take the long way back, they told us not to cross any streams..."

"Geoffrey got a book, a bell and a candle." Negatus steps back as the demon proudly upends his little leather knapsack and a small birthday-cake candle, a cowbell and a battered copy of 'Mining diamonds for dummies' tumbles out. "We found some holy water, well they said it was holy, I mean is holy water meant to be green? And then-"

"Quiet, quiet." Negatus waves a hand imperiously, "It's fine. I've worked it all out. He has unfinished business."

There's a pause and then Geoffrey offers, "Won't that be a bit difficult if he's a ghost?"

"No Geoff, we have to find out what he wants." Negatus turns to Anous expectantly, "Well, what do you want?"

Anous cricks a ghostly finger and drifts out of the room, Negatus follows and the three demons bumble after him, still bickering about the finer points of the holy water colour spectrum. Anous drifts down to the box where his corpse is still resting on ice and gestures to it impatiently.

"You ... you need me to open the box?" Negatus asks and gets a nod in reply. Reaching down he heaves open the lid and looks at the frozen corpse inside, "Well?"

Anous drifts closer, indicating something. Negatus leans in and frowns. The man is indicating his clipboard and Negatus picks it up, shaking his head, "Well I'm not sending this back to Imperatrix. Dodged a bullet with that one, phew. I'm not about to undodge it. Or ... fire it again? Either way. This report stays here."

Anous gestures impatiently and Negatus turns over the clipboard, baffled, "What, this is just a - oh."

There's a small sticker on the bottom of the clipboard which reads in wonky typeset:

_"Property of the man Ry, 24 Smiths avenue, Viking Lane, Yonderland. Plz return."_

Negatus stares at it for a long while and then waves the clipboard furiously at Anous, "This is it, this is _it_? You came all the way back from the grave, terrifying me, confusing my staff, turning the whole place upside-down just because you wanted us to _return your clipboard_?"

The ghost of Anous gives a smug little nod. Negatus rolls his eyes and flings the clipboard at Geoff, "Fine. Fine! Return that to its rightful owner." He glares at the ghost of Anous as it slowly slides down through the floor and fades out of view, "And somebody get me a new drinks cooler."


End file.
